The tips of my fingers have gone numb and I’m flexing my hand almost reflexively to keep them warm as the thick black leathers gloves I wear just aren’t enough to keep back the cold Canadian chill. My legs have that strange ‘tingling’ sensation and I can barely feel the tugging of my clothing as it’s blown wildly in the frozen winds. And my face has long ago seemingly frozen against the harsh climes, my cheeks feel stiff, my lips cracked and bleeding, and I’m forced to blink constantly from the dry cold wing. By all rights I should feel miserable and cold, I should curse this world I live it, where each step is a tiny adventure of ice and snow and the weather so miserable. But I don’t, I can’t explain it, I’m not sure if anyone can. But for some reason despite the weather, or perhaps even because of it, those cold numb lips are smiling and I feel alive.
It’s a mystery to me, these tiny moments of clarity and pure joy. Have you ever felt them, these fragments of clarity where you swear the world has revealed itself to you in all its glory and you continue onward amazed, or perhaps simply stand there, stunned, as you mind reels with the sheer magnificence of it all? Those fractions of a second where every tiny facet of the world around you stands still and clear and a single breath takes an eternity to breath. When the most tiny details or actions seem to suddenly occupy the whole of your thoughts and dreams; The simple shade of green on a leaf above your head, and the way the light shines down upon it and illuminates it with a rich glow. Or a stunning sunset, the sky turning a bright shade of pink that highlights the black streaks that run through it like ripples in the water. Maybe even an action, the feel of blood pumping through your legs spreading warmth against the cold and the bite of the cold against your cheek, the wisps of cloud that billow forth from your mouth with every breath and the way it drifts away in the winds. Snowflakes, each one unique, flying past in the legion, so much so that you can barely see but a few mere meters in front of you and the world itself seems to be frozen in a state where it’s simply you, you and the cold of winter! And it is glorious!
I have felt this. Many times. I hope you do too because for those few moments, that little slice of time, everything is perfect and beautiful and not the worries of daily life nor the sins of our past can deter that simple, childish joy that overcomes cynicism and melancholy. It’s a tiny little moment in the grand bustle of our lives, and yet those mere seconds that it lasts can mean everything, be everything.
It’s those little fragments of my life that make it so great. I’m not rich, I’m not particularly productive or smart. I own little worth mentioning and still have so very, very much of the world to see before I can even call myself truly experienced. And yet though I often feel I’ve done so very little to deserve it, I love my life. I love it for those moments of clarity and wonder, that sense of grand amazement over the smallest and most inconsequential of details. I stand in awe and when the feeling has passed I wonder ‘What have I done to deserve such a thing?’.
Some amazing people can draw these moments out, memorize them, and express them again as art! You hear them sometimes, the songs that often without words seem to draw upon some deep bit of our souls and twist them, drawing forth and manipulating our emotions in such a way we can’t fully explain. Or paintings that pull you in, demand your attention, and for a brief moment encompass all we know and once we’ve looked away, leave a deep impression upon our very selves. Words that stir you heart, speeches that change the very fiber of who we are, plays and movies that teach us about a bit of ourselves we didn’t even know we had.
This you have experienced, in one way or another. Everyone has. Some people try to define that feeling, to label it and use it as some sort of parameter towards the meaning of art. Others calculate it, examine it, try to determine the exact angles of the artwork that stir our souls, the subtle variations of the song which moves our heart. And others, like myself, simply enjoy the moment. Revel in the feeling, the sensation of perfection. It drives us onward in our lives, ever hoping for another one of these moments where time is frozen and everything, everything is right!
For this I live. I breath with the hope that each breath might draw closer another seconds moment of beauty. That every time I step forward is another step towards understanding.
Perhaps the message I’m trying to say is simply that; Life is beautiful, full of amazement and wonders the likes of which we cannot even understand. It may only be a figment of our minds, a peculiarity of the human brain, a wisp of a dream that survives into waking. But in the end does it matter, the whats and the whys? Sometimes, only sometimes, it’s best to not question but instead to simply enjoy the moment. Enjoy the moment and keep on living in the hopes that you might experience more!
Dreamscape 